What is the reason of your existance?

That question not only come once or twice in my life. It's come EVERY.SINGLE.DAY of my life. I don't know about you, but let me tell you about something.. :
Ketika kamu mulai bertanya tentang keberadaan dirimu di dunia ini, ingatlah kapan kamu merasa seperti itu. Saat bahagia? Saat sedang mendapatkan keajaiban? atau disaat kamu merasa rendah, tidak bisa berbuat apa-apa? Ketika ditinggalkan oleh orang terdekatmu? Ketika merasa tidak diperhatikan? atau seperti aku, disaat kamu sendiri, saat sunyi.

I might be not gonna talk about sweet cherish moment or even a sentimental things's. We need a balance, aren't we? So I'm gonna be a lil bit serious and please, give a moment for yourself by asking this: 'What do you want the MOST?', 'Why you still live until today?', 'BERAPA BANYAK WAKTU YANG KAMU PUNYA?'

Despite all the wondering about the reason of MY existance, I met my friend. A man, who want to do everything he have in his mind. Being success, be famous, make his family proud of him, make everybody notice him whenever he goes around.
I want to be like that too!

Kenapa tiba-tiba arah pembicaraannya jadi berat, gw juga gak tahu. Awalnya cuma bahas makanan padahal. Tapi ketika makanan udah abis, minum udah di refill berpuluh kali, ternyata pertanyaan tadi muncul. Ketika pertanyaan itu muncul, ada satu hal yang jelas; ada rasa takut. Super takut. Ketika menyadari apa yang telah dilakukan dalam satu hari. Rasanya takut, karena kita gak pernah tahu hari esok. Kita bakal kayak apa, kita bakal ketemu siapa, dapet apa, kehilangan apa, jatuh cinta sama siapa atau sakit hati karena apa. Misteri.

Terus gw baca postingan path, detailnya gw lupa tapi intinya kayak gini:
Suatu hari nanti, orang lain akan lupa kalau kita pernah ada.
Suatu hari nanti, orang lain belum tentu ingat kalau kamu pernah ada di tempat tertentu.
Orang lain gak akan inget kamu pernah ngomong apa ke siapa.
Kalau kayak gitu, apa kamu bakal diinget sama orang?
Gimana caranya kamu bakal diinget sama orang lain ketika kamu gak ada?
You don't want to be remembered as a person who acted so cruel or talked so harsh.
Terus kenapa masih pasang muka yang bisa ngebuat orang satu RT balik ngejudesin kamu?

You have today, so doing good anyway. Because you might not be see the things like these tomorrow.
You still have a money and health, be happy anyway.
You still have a friends to hang out, hang out anyway.
You still have a work, do it anyway.
You still have a parents, a family, hug them anyway.
You feel something ticklish, laugh anyway.
You feel down when facing a problem, smile anyway.
You feel sad and hurt so much, then wipe your tears and get yourself together.
You still have yourself and better that yesterday, enjoy it, share it.
You still have yourself but maybe not as good as yesterday, then do as best as you could today.
If you have a dream, then pursue it anyway. Make it happen.


Because we have our own reason to be exist in this world, then it's in your hand, either you want to be remembered as a good human being or not, as a popular person or not, as a successful man or not, etc.

If you have one more day, what would you do?


P.S: Postingan ini ketahan di draft, hampir setahunan. Belum di post karena gue juga masih belum dapet jawabannya dan belum mampu nerusin nulisnya. Maybe now is a right time to post, we never know what gonna happen tomorrow.